A pollster asks a homeless person, a cult member and a Zionist the same question: “What is your opinion of the meat shortage?” The homeless person asks, “I’m sorry, but what do you mean by ‘meat’?” The cultist responds, “Please forgive me, but what do you mean by an ‘opinion’?” The Zionist turns beet-red and screams, “What the Ffuck does ‘excuse me’ mean?”
Zionism: n. (zih-uhn-ism) A quasi-religious belief, held by many Israeli Jews, that “God does not exist, but he gave us your land, so we can demolish your houses, leave your children homeless, and take it!”
Q: How many Zionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to change the bulb and 7.8 million to accuse Edison, GE, tungsten and electricity of being anti-Semitic.
Q: What is the difference between a Zionist and a professional criminal?
A: A professional criminal doesn’t make up lame excuses for things he denies doing.
Q: Why did the Zionist cross the road?
A: To occupy the other side.
Q: What did the Zionist answer, on his job application form, when asked about his desired occupation?
Q: Why did the Zionist claim to own the space between your ears, while you were sleeping?
A: It was temporarily unoccupied.
Q: Which Zionist film is most likely to win an Oscar?
A: The Great Terrain Robbery, starring Sean Con-nery and Donald Smother-land.
Q: Why did the Zionist claim to own your home?
A: You couldn’t prove that it was in your family’s possession 2,000 years ago, so it must be his to claim.
You can lead a Zionist to water, but you can’t make him share it with a Palestinian.
All roads lead to Jerusalem … except the Jewish-only roads that Palestinians are not allowed to drive on.