TEL AVIV, Israel — It used to be that if you wanted to join one of the world’s most secretive espionage organizations you had to sneak into a foreign embassy, answer a cryptic newspaper ad or show up in a nondescript building in Tel Aviv to meet a shadowy recruiter. Now all it takes to apply for a job at Israel’s Mossad spy agency is a click of the mouse.
The typically hush-hush Mossad revamped its website last week to include a snazzy recruiting video and an online application option for those seeking employment. With versions in Hebrew, English, French, Russian, Arabic and Persian, the sleek site looks to revolutionize the way Israel’s legendary agency seeks out potential agents after generations of backdoor, cloak-and-dagger antics.
“We must continue to recruit the best people into our ranks so that the Mossad might continue to lead, defend and allow for the continued existence of the state of Israel,” Mossad Chief Tamir Pardo said in a statement announcing the launch. “The Mossad’s qualitative human capital is the secret of our success.”
Eight-year-old Mohammad had just moved to Ireland and entered his classroom on the first day of school.
“What’s your name?” asked the teacher.
“Mohammad,” he replied.
“You’re in Ireland now,” replied the teacher, “so from now on you will be known as Frank.”
Mohammad returned home after school.
“How was your day, Mohammad?” his mother asked.
“My name is no longer Mohammad. I’m in Ireland now and my name is Frank.”
“What?” she said. “Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!” And his mother beat him.
Then she called his father, who beat him again.
The next day when Mohammad returned to school the teacher saw all of his bruises.
“What happened to you, Frank?” she asked.
“Well shortly after becoming Irish I was attacked by two Arabs.”
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