It was comforting to hear beloved Christian singer, Cliff Richard, pontificating about rumours that he’s a closet gay-lord.
Cliff kindly informed us that his fans wouldn’t mind one dot if it were to emerge that he loved menfolk.
He even went as far as to proclaim to the world:
” What difference would it make if I was gay?”
” I have got gay friends. Most people have gay friends.”
“ Would you not come to my concerts because I’m gay?”
Unfortunately though, Reverend Cliff forgot to mention some other altogether more disturbing rumours, that his faithful fans might not be aware of.
They include the following:
– that Cliff and Melvyn Bragg share a repulsive hobby that the average person would find sickening.
– that Cliff is linked to notorious boy-brothel Elm Guest House,where boys were trafficked from local care homes to be abused by VIP filth, and used the pseudonym, Kitty.
– that Cliff knew about the BBC paedophile ring, linked to Government and Royalty
– that Cliff was questioned several times by police officers following the brutal murder of his ‘close’ chum Jill Dando, who was about to blow the lid on the ring.
– that Cliff recently renounced his British citizenship and is now a fully fledged Barbadian
– that Cliff has been helped by his pals in Mi5 to evade justice when abuse allegations have been made against him.
– that Cliff is really nothing like his wholesome, religious, celibate persona at all and has actually hoodwinked us, Jimmy Savile style, for decades.
So you see, being exposed as gay is the very least of Cliff Richard’s worries.
His biggest secret has yet to be revealed…